Skills in Adobe Photoshop. It's the fundamentals of having the 'it' factor online. Be it you're a guy or a girl, Adobe Photoshop is a DEFINITE MUST to nail it in the denizens of the Internet.
You have freckles and acne that bugs your pictures every time? No problemo... all you need to do is to zoom in on your face, apply some Photoshop effects on it to remove the irritating features, and presto! You have beautiful soft face looking back at you!Wonderful, no? So you complain that you're a fat cow, with elephantine thighs and spare tyres round your waist. Why complain? Your pictures; trim out the undesirable features on your body, shape out your body using special effects, and you're Miss World/Mr. Olympia material! Oh! Oh! And another thing... are you complaining that your B-cup doesn't bring them boys to the yard or that your flat butt doesn't make the guys whistle? Take your pictures, digitally enhance your assets as you see fit, and voilà! You'll guarantee to give hard-ons on the hot-blooded dudes looking at the 'enhancements'!
The Internet is filled with lonely individuals. Why are you looking at me? I may be lonely, but at least I have a life! Anyway, The Internet is filled with lonely individuals who only jack off to porn and hot girls with nice assets. They are the demand; if you want to make it in the Internet community you have to give supply to satisfy the demand from these lonely, hot-blooded people who have hard-ons looking at hot girls online. Just let your l337 Photoshopping skills do the talking at you'll become an instant Internet meme. Come to think of it, whichever girl whose nickname is Keyra Agustina must have a heck load of time Photoshopping each and every single frame of her gyrating to James Brown.
Well, tune in next time when I talk about something completely different.
15 November, 2007
06 November, 2007
En-Bloc Sale? FUCK OFF!
I will never sell out my house to any money-whoring bastards bent on making some stupid crap on the land they buy.
I have lived in a decent four-room flat for over 17 years now. To me, it feels like more than a home, it's like a haven for my heart. My family has got no money for now, but I have really big plans for my house, with renovation on top of the list. I have seen how the environment around my flat has gone to; I saw out how a marsh right adjacent to my window evolved into a primary school, I saw out how my fellow residents get a new bus-stop so that we don't have to walk several metres to come home, I saw out how people get new homes right next to our flats. In short, I have enjoyed living in my house and have no intentions of moving out whatsoever. All that shit might change, however, when money-spinning whores of real estate investors thought they see fit to invest in the flat I live in.
THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN, YOU BASTARDS!
Compensations over the sale of my flat will not be enough, you greedy pigs. Money will not buy me almost two decades of memories and solace in my heart, and it has been proven that it doesn't buy anyone happiness. Oh, so you have resorted to ask your friends to buy remaining units of houses, have you? I'm VERY SURE I can find like-minded people to veto your attempts to force an en-bloc through the majority vote. In short, none of your attempts will sway me to sell my flat, you bunch of money-fat bastards!
I have a dream, that when nobody else resides around my flat, I shall be the last one to leave for newer pastures. I shall only leave when there's nobody else to greet during my days residing in my humble abode. For that is my plan for the far future.
Blogger's Notes: This entry is my comment for this article in The New Paper.
I have lived in a decent four-room flat for over 17 years now. To me, it feels like more than a home, it's like a haven for my heart. My family has got no money for now, but I have really big plans for my house, with renovation on top of the list. I have seen how the environment around my flat has gone to; I saw out how a marsh right adjacent to my window evolved into a primary school, I saw out how my fellow residents get a new bus-stop so that we don't have to walk several metres to come home, I saw out how people get new homes right next to our flats. In short, I have enjoyed living in my house and have no intentions of moving out whatsoever. All that shit might change, however, when money-spinning whores of real estate investors thought they see fit to invest in the flat I live in.
THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN, YOU BASTARDS!
Compensations over the sale of my flat will not be enough, you greedy pigs. Money will not buy me almost two decades of memories and solace in my heart, and it has been proven that it doesn't buy anyone happiness. Oh, so you have resorted to ask your friends to buy remaining units of houses, have you? I'm VERY SURE I can find like-minded people to veto your attempts to force an en-bloc through the majority vote. In short, none of your attempts will sway me to sell my flat, you bunch of money-fat bastards!
I have a dream, that when nobody else resides around my flat, I shall be the last one to leave for newer pastures. I shall only leave when there's nobody else to greet during my days residing in my humble abode. For that is my plan for the far future.
Blogger's Notes: This entry is my comment for this article in The New Paper.
29 October, 2007
One's great victories should not be at the expense of others.
We all have that desire to win. We always want to win in something; tournaments, competitions, even contests. But what measures have we been using to win all that we desire to? Do we severely injure our opponents to the point of withdrawal? Do we discredit our opponents with skeletons in their closets? Or even put down our opponents to the point where they break physically, mentally or emotionally?
Winning at all costs in ugliest of fashions is a defeat of humanity in itself, no matter how great the victory is. What is the use of celebrating your glorious victory when your nearest opponent licks his open wounds in defeat, contemplating what he had done to deserve the injuries inflicted by your unethical ways to win? By winning using such methods, you have lost your human spirit. You are thinking of nothing else but winning at all costs. You even resort to annihilation to achieve the victory, no matter how minuscule or grandiose it is. In short, you have won everything there is to win, but you have lost yourself. That is the nature of winning at all costs.
What goes on the competition field stays in the competition field. You may be enemies from the kick-off to the end, but when the final whistle blows, congratulate your opponents and shake their hands to appreciate the great battle you and your opponent have made in the competition. When your opponent is injured, halt the game and help him. When you have won, encourage him to train harder. When you have lost, acknowledge him for his victory. You may be rivals during the duration of the competition, be it several seconds or several hours, but outside of it, have a friendly banter over a cup of coffee. That is the nature of a model sportsman.
Remember, great victories should not be achieved at the expense of others. It is the way to achieve and sustain the human spirit in this world.
Winning at all costs in ugliest of fashions is a defeat of humanity in itself, no matter how great the victory is. What is the use of celebrating your glorious victory when your nearest opponent licks his open wounds in defeat, contemplating what he had done to deserve the injuries inflicted by your unethical ways to win? By winning using such methods, you have lost your human spirit. You are thinking of nothing else but winning at all costs. You even resort to annihilation to achieve the victory, no matter how minuscule or grandiose it is. In short, you have won everything there is to win, but you have lost yourself. That is the nature of winning at all costs.
What goes on the competition field stays in the competition field. You may be enemies from the kick-off to the end, but when the final whistle blows, congratulate your opponents and shake their hands to appreciate the great battle you and your opponent have made in the competition. When your opponent is injured, halt the game and help him. When you have won, encourage him to train harder. When you have lost, acknowledge him for his victory. You may be rivals during the duration of the competition, be it several seconds or several hours, but outside of it, have a friendly banter over a cup of coffee. That is the nature of a model sportsman.
Remember, great victories should not be achieved at the expense of others. It is the way to achieve and sustain the human spirit in this world.
10 October, 2007
The extended network called 'human beings'
Have a look at the contact lists in your Windows Live Messenger or Yahoo Messenger or whatever. Or have a look at your friends list in Friendster. Take a look deeper into their profiles (without spying, that is). Then think for a second: is it possible that your friends and contacts are more than meets their profiles?
Yes. But not in a personal point of view, that is. What I'm saying is, that friend you are looking at might know someone whom you have known but forgotten. Your classmate might have known your ex-girlfriend since primary school. Your former schoolmate might have a relative who's going to elope with a relative of yours. Your teammate in a sports club might be someone whom you knew back in kindergarten but lost contact as time went by. Your brother's friend might be playing in a football club on a regular basis.
We all are intertwined in a grand network of humanity. Once you forge a friendship with someone, you have created a bridge between you and your friend in the network. That bridge between you and your friend links both of you together to those whom you know and whom your friend knows. The more bridges you build, the more connection between us fellow humankind will be created. When you forge a friendship with someone, it's like you forged an acquaintance with the world.
Build a bridge, start by forging friendships with more people, and you'll be one step nearer to knowing the people of the world.
Yes. But not in a personal point of view, that is. What I'm saying is, that friend you are looking at might know someone whom you have known but forgotten. Your classmate might have known your ex-girlfriend since primary school. Your former schoolmate might have a relative who's going to elope with a relative of yours. Your teammate in a sports club might be someone whom you knew back in kindergarten but lost contact as time went by. Your brother's friend might be playing in a football club on a regular basis.
We all are intertwined in a grand network of humanity. Once you forge a friendship with someone, you have created a bridge between you and your friend in the network. That bridge between you and your friend links both of you together to those whom you know and whom your friend knows. The more bridges you build, the more connection between us fellow humankind will be created. When you forge a friendship with someone, it's like you forged an acquaintance with the world.
Build a bridge, start by forging friendships with more people, and you'll be one step nearer to knowing the people of the world.
06 October, 2007
It's 'FOOTBALL', you stupid fat Yanks. FOOTBALL, not soccer. FOOTBALL.
American Football? I'm having a laugh.
Firstly, you have players wearing fibreglass helmets and padding slamming at each other for no reason (or maybe trying to have a gay orgy while they're at it). I recognise another sport which does the same without the helmets and minimal/zero pads, and it's christened rugby. Deduction: American Football = Rugby + Wimps+without+cojones. Afraid to get injured, you pansy Yanks? Players get hit, slammed, dragged, maimed and mauled in rugby, and they bleed through 80 minutes of crazy body-tearing action and still never complain. Compare that to American Football players, and the latter is a pathetic excuse for players of contact sport.
You Yanks call it FOOTBALL? Let's recall the percentage of players kicking the ball in American Football.
Percentage of kicking in American Football: 17.3%
Percentage of ball-handling in American Football: Just about everything else %
Foot. Ball. Get the drift? American Football doesn't.
I'm a bored and lonely idiot who seeks fun doing these random ramblings, so if you enjoy the cheap laughs, thank you. I'm bored. Full-stop. If you don't agree with me, or is considering flagging this blog, read the disclaimer you douche.
Firstly, you have players wearing fibreglass helmets and padding slamming at each other for no reason (or maybe trying to have a gay orgy while they're at it). I recognise another sport which does the same without the helmets and minimal/zero pads, and it's christened rugby. Deduction: American Football = Rugby + Wimps+without+cojones. Afraid to get injured, you pansy Yanks? Players get hit, slammed, dragged, maimed and mauled in rugby, and they bleed through 80 minutes of crazy body-tearing action and still never complain. Compare that to American Football players, and the latter is a pathetic excuse for players of contact sport.
You Yanks call it FOOTBALL? Let's recall the percentage of players kicking the ball in American Football.
Percentage of kicking in American Football: 17.3%
Percentage of ball-handling in American Football: Just about everything else %
Foot. Ball. Get the drift? American Football doesn't.
I'm a bored and lonely idiot who seeks fun doing these random ramblings, so if you enjoy the cheap laughs, thank you. I'm bored. Full-stop. If you don't agree with me, or is considering flagging this blog, read the disclaimer you douche.
Rihanna's Umbrella is the epitome of 'I ran out of ideas so I put up random annoying rhythms in between'.
I hate Rihanna's Umbrella. In all forms.
First up, the background tune's too static. It's like you put a recording of a TV channel which has ceased transmission and gave out nothing but static, put in some beats, and voilà, you have profit whore knocking at your door. There is no rhythmic tune. Full-stop. Shut up, I rule in this blog.
Also, what's with the "Ella, ella, eh eh eh" bullcrap? A stroke victim can sing better tunes than that, and it still won't whore profits and royalty. It's like you put a few seconds of that random nonsense in my ringtone (which is El Chombo's Macarron Chacarron - go Google it or get it from Youtube, you lazy excuse for a human) edit in a few seconds of it and profit. It's just a pathetic rambling, which is definitely NOT this blog entry, of Rihanna and a bad excuse of wasting several seconds of precious digital recording, which can be used to record things like "I am a money-spinning whore" or "American Football is just a profit-whoring excuse for Yankees of a pansy sport".
I DON'T CARE what the lyrics say. If the tune is crap, I'm not listening to it. If the singing is crap, I'm not listening to it - and that goes to you, Ms. Famous-for-being-famous-for-being-famous-for-being-rich. If the whole package is annoying, I'm gonna buy all copies of the recordings and dump it in Mt. Krakatoa.
That's all for my random ramblings for the day. Tune in next time for the next episode of Dragonba- oh sorry, wrong place. For more random ramblings, hit F5 for refresh every 0.298743984327 nanoseconds or you get bad luck for 21348983274987432 millenia.
First up, the background tune's too static. It's like you put a recording of a TV channel which has ceased transmission and gave out nothing but static, put in some beats, and voilà, you have profit whore knocking at your door. There is no rhythmic tune. Full-stop. Shut up, I rule in this blog.
Also, what's with the "Ella, ella, eh eh eh" bullcrap? A stroke victim can sing better tunes than that, and it still won't whore profits and royalty. It's like you put a few seconds of that random nonsense in my ringtone (which is El Chombo's Macarron Chacarron - go Google it or get it from Youtube, you lazy excuse for a human) edit in a few seconds of it and profit. It's just a pathetic rambling, which is definitely NOT this blog entry, of Rihanna and a bad excuse of wasting several seconds of precious digital recording, which can be used to record things like "I am a money-spinning whore" or "American Football is just a profit-whoring excuse for Yankees of a pansy sport".
I DON'T CARE what the lyrics say. If the tune is crap, I'm not listening to it. If the singing is crap, I'm not listening to it - and that goes to you, Ms. Famous-for-being-famous-for-being-famous-for-being-rich. If the whole package is annoying, I'm gonna buy all copies of the recordings and dump it in Mt. Krakatoa.
That's all for my random ramblings for the day. Tune in next time for the next episode of Dragonba- oh sorry, wrong place. For more random ramblings, hit F5 for refresh every 0.298743984327 nanoseconds or you get bad luck for 21348983274987432 millenia.
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