The Suave Badassery

Shooting for the moon...

2009-03-07T21:41:00.004+08:00

Look around us. There are billions of people in this world. Just like there are billions of matter in space, from the ionosphere to beyond, when you look at the sky.

Look at the stars. They represent the people that are out of reach. When the times are dark, they shine beautifully at you, lovingly caressing your eyes with such beauty. Thinking that they are the ideal ones for you, you reached out to them by all means necessary. As you reach higher and higher, the desire to reach for them consumed you so much you don't care the difference between right and wrong, and by the time you reach them, they are gone. These kind of people what they are, stars which looked like they are shining on you, but when you get to them, they are taken away from you. The stars represent such people.

Then there are the planets. They represent the people who have been alongside you in your life. Throughout your life, they have been beside you, orbiting around life in varying paces - some very fast, others merely taking it easy. You wished you could always be together with them, but no matter what you do, their life could never be in sync with yours, and they are too preoccupied with their own orbit around life to be near you. Just like the planets, stuck in their respective orbits around the sun to be together with you, or even be in sync with your own orbit around the sun. The planets represent such people.

And then there are the satellites orbiting around the ionosphere. They represent the people who are easily - and suspiciously - available. You can reach them in a matter of minutes, you can do whatever you want to them, and then you can leave them be. But at the end of the day, they are merely artificial husks created by your delusions and idealistic thoughts, doing nothing but playing with your mind like a game of chess. You definitely deserve better people than them. Just like the satellites, they are merely artificial articles created by people to analyse signals emanating from the Earth's surface. The satellites represent such people.

Which leaves us with the moon. It represents the one you are destined to be with forever. When the times are dark and bleak, when life does not shine well on you, they will shine brightest. They may not be the prettiest, the most handsome or the most adorable, and surely they do have another side of them which you could not see, but you will always see the beauty in them. Even if they could not be seen, you will know that they will always be by your side every time. Just like the moon, orbiting around the Earth without question, shining brightest when the sun is not, and beautiful despite its imperfect façade. The moon represents the very one person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

There will always be somebody for anybody, believe me, just like there will always be the moon for Earth. The trick is to know which one the moon is among the celestial objects.

So... have you found your moon yet?

The Hiatus of the Suave Badassery

2008-10-04T18:52:00.002+08:00

Well, I'll be very blunt and straight to the readers: I'm going for National Service very soon. This blog has been on hiatus since June due to lack of ideas and things to ramble about, but this announcement is my official declaration of hiatus for this blog called the Suave Badassery. I don't know exactly when I will get back home, but what is definite is that I will be back.

Prior to this announcement, I have made another blog called Wingless Huzzar's Dramatic Bastardisations, featuring traditional stories which will be bastardised by my most impure of thoughts. So far, I could not bring myself to make a post there as well due to - again - lack of ideas. But what will be definite is that the blog will have at least a post once I come back from National Service.

All that has been said (and I don't wish to repeat myself now, you can read the post above as many as you want instead), I bid you readers adieu until next time.

With suavest of badasseries,
Wingless Huzzar

Suave Reviews: 5 Centimeters Per Second

2008-06-08T20:21:00.005+08:00

Today, for something completely different, I shall review a very moving gem of a Japanese anime movie, 5 Centimeters Per Second. This romantic drama movie, set in Japan in the nineties and concluding on the present day, centers around this guy named Takaki Tohno and is split into three parts (titles translated to English): Cherry Blossom Extract, Cosmonaut, and 5 Centimeters Per Second. The first part, Cherry Blossom Extract, tells the story of Takaki reuniting with his close childhood friend, Akari Shinohara, after being separated after elementary school. The second part, Cosmonaut, chronicles Takaki mainly through the perspective of Kanae Sumita, Takaki's classmate who has a crush on him. The final part, 5 Centimeters Per Second, is the concluding part where it wraps up Takaki's trials and tribulations from the previous two parts.

Now you'll be asking, "Dude, you're a suave badass! Why the hell are you reviewing such a mushy story?" Before you blurt out that question to me, don't. It may be a mushy story, but three reasons outweigh the mushiness of the story.

You know what I'm saying?

Sure, this movie is a romantic drama, but underneath all the love and the romance, there is that underlying theme to the whole story. A message which is hard for me to describe in words, but nevertheless depicts a person's tug-of-war between time and the love they left behind over time. The message is very deep, but very true in terms of how people cope with life.

The surroundings... it's beautiful...

I have to admit, the beautiful scenery in the scenes were so beautiful I wish it was real. From the countryside to the city, the depiction of the scenery was awe-inspiring, I watched the movie full-screen to capture fully the panoramic view of the scenery. Disregarding the romantic theme in the movie, those who love beautiful sceneries, I recommend this movie to you guys.

One More Time, One More Chance

Now, the theme song was what drew me to the movie. The translated message in the song describes about one searching for that special someone whom they lost along the way, and the way the song fits into the movie was seamless, like the song and the movie was made for each other.

If you're a helpless romantic, or someone who is a sucker for beautiful scenery, then 5 Centimeters Per Second is the movie for you. I shall conclude this post with the theme song for the movie, One More Time, One More Chance by Masayoshi Yamazaki.

Call me Halim.

2008-06-03T22:48:00.004+08:00

Right, I shall blow off the lid here on my online anonymity, since the only people visiting this blog consist of people on my Windows Live Messenger and nobody else. My full first name is Noorhalim. But please, call me Halim.

I have to admit, being called by my full first name by my closest family members gives me that awkward and uneasy feeling. At the worst extreme, I will get annoyed on the mere mention of my full first name. I have no problems with my own name, actually; I even write my full name on any paperwork I have to do. I am still proud of my name given during my birth, it's who I personify. But when it comes to speaking within my circle of friends and family, using my full first name makes it too formal in an otherwise informal setting. So please, do call me Halim.

To my elder brother who's reading this, I hope you understand. And I apologise that I had to use this kind of medium to speak my mind. I am not one who rambles about my personal successes, strifes and tribulations to anyone, not even in my own blog. But this entry, hoping for it as a one-off, should clear the air on my position and my choice of how I should be called by, and I do hope you understand it.

'The school uniform is NOT a fashion statement, idort' Parte Dois: Pamela

2008-01-17T00:09:00.001+08:00

So I was reading The New Paper on Wednesday and I saw a report where a "schoolgirl" (quotations intended due to the fact that she might not be one) by the name of Pamela sells her used knickers online. To me, not a problem as the Japanese schoolgirls did it for money, so maybe she emulated that to boost her income, but the problem is that she was, in an erotic manner, wearing school uniforms which resembled a certain convent school which has campuses around Singapore (fellow Singaporeans know which I'm talking about). This had the students of the school outraged, as they see "the abuse on their school uniform" as "damaging the school culture".

(Here's the link to the report in the New Paper, immortalised in the Electric New Paper)

I've just taken a glance at the website (can't link it in a worksafe blog), she sells her knickers, and her bra, yadda yadda yadda, while wearing school uniforms to attract school uniform fetishists. Okay, a kinky yet innovative way to attract money from perverted people of a certain demographic. That's not the point I'm talking about down here, however; the point is that the students (maybe the current students, maybe the alumni, but more inclined to current students in this entry) see such kinky usage of the aforementioned uniform by Pamela as desecrating. You see, I have a problem at that sentiment down here. To all the obliging convent girls who wear the convent uniform proudly and with passion, good for you sweet ladies, give yourselves a pat on the back.

For those convent girls who wear the convent uniform as depicted in my previous entry, particularly those who blow their tops at this Pamela incident, it's like the pot calling the kettle black. If you girls think that Pamela's acts are desecrating the school culture, what have you girls have to say about yourselves, wearing the pinafore belt on the hips instead on the waist as intended? You girls are no better than Pamela herself! You say she's making a mockery of YOUR OWN school uniform, but have you taken a look at yourselves and how you wear your school uniform? Protip: self-reflection before you slam someone for 'desecrating' your uniform.

Why am I saying all this bullshit for the past two entries, you say? Once you step outside your school gates with your uniform on, you are representing your school. You may not like it, but whatever you do or say - as long as you are in your uniform - will be scrutinised and fed back as school reputation. If you did good deeds in your uniform, good job, you have made your school proud. If you did otherwise, like shoplifting or gangsterism, in your uniform, you are clearly and openly tarnishing your school reputation. Would you want to be cursed with a tarnished reputation you get while in school? It might be unfair to those people who strive to make your school a much more reputable name, and then you screw it all up with just a random act of mischief. You can do whatever the hell you want out of your uniform, but please, whenever you wear that school uniform of yours, you are ambassadors of your own school. If you tarnish your school's reputation, your reputation is tarnished as well.

Too long; didn't read: Wear your uniform proudly and smartly, Pamela is just making her money, and yes I was aroused when going to Pamela's site. And no, I will STILL NOT link you guys to her site. This is a worksafe blog, dammit!

The school uniform is NOT a fashion statement, idort.

2008-01-04T22:01:00.000+08:00

Seriously, everywhere I look around town I see students wearing their school uniforms like they are some kind of fashion statement or something. You dumb retards think it's a fashion statement to wear the uniform as you see fit; tell you something, kid, you're making an ass out of not only yourself, but the school that you represent. Well I do hope you're happy dragging your school into shit with your slipshod manner of wearing your school colours, because I'm not. To all the schoolkids reading this entry, don't pretend you idiots don't know what I mean. To help you recall, here are some of the trends of you guys wearing your school colours which really boils me to the core.

Ankle Socks

Seriously, what' the goddamn deal of ankle socks? You're making an ass out of yourself wearing them and pretending you guys don't wear your socks. Are your pairs of socks a shame to flaunt? What's wrong with white socks, anyway? It's not like people will call you gay or something while wearing white socks. I wear my white socks all the time, and I've no trouble flaunting them. Seriously, cover your ankles with your socks and flaunt them like they're the fashion statement.

Pinafores: Wearing that belt way below the intended height

Damn it, you girls are making your pinafores look like, in Maddox's words, "tit curtains"! Why on earth are you wearing that belt below the waistline!? Are you pregnant or something? Or are you just applying that stupid hipster culture in your pinafores? Seriously, you girls look like dumb bitches with no regards to your school reputation when wearing your pinafore belts below the waistline. Also it looks fugly on you. You girls would look helluva nicer when you wear that belt on the waistline.

Tapered pants

What. The. F-word. And this is why I really hate the emo subculture (rant of emo subculture coming soon to The Suave Badassery; watch this space!). Dammit, what are you trying to show, your lean legs? You look like a flipping faggot wearing tapered pants, and more so when you taper your school pants. It looks dumb, and you're making an ass out of yourself. Why don't you guys let your pants hang loose for a change? It's less likely to rip compared to tapered pants, and it feels more cooling.

Unless school rules say otherwise, tuck in that damn shirt!

Why on earth are you folding the lower part of that shirt to create the illusion that you tucked it in? You look like as if you're a caveman just emerging into society after eons under a rock. A very slipshod way to promote your school, and not a good way to promote yourself either. Tuck it in and be proud! Also it boosts your confidence.

So there, avoid doing whatever shit's in bold and make your school proud. After all, the school name is stuck on you in your CV.

So you think of being an Internet celebrity?

2007-11-15T12:25:00.000+08:00

Skills in Adobe Photoshop. It's the fundamentals of having the 'it' factor online. Be it you're a guy or a girl, Adobe Photoshop is a DEFINITE MUST to nail it in the denizens of the Internet.

You have freckles and acne that bugs your pictures every time? No problemo... all you need to do is to zoom in on your face, apply some Photoshop effects on it to remove the irritating features, and presto! You have beautiful soft face looking back at you!Wonderful, no? So you complain that you're a fat cow, with elephantine thighs and spare tyres round your waist. Why complain? Your pictures; trim out the undesirable features on your body, shape out your body using special effects, and you're Miss World/Mr. Olympia material! Oh! Oh! And another thing... are you complaining that your B-cup doesn't bring them boys to the yard or that your flat butt doesn't make the guys whistle? Take your pictures, digitally enhance your assets as you see fit, and voilà! You'll guarantee to give hard-ons on the hot-blooded dudes looking at the 'enhancements'!

The Internet is filled with lonely individuals. Why are you looking at me? I may be lonely, but at least I have a life! Anyway, The Internet is filled with lonely individuals who only jack off to porn and hot girls with nice assets. They are the demand; if you want to make it in the Internet community you have to give supply to satisfy the demand from these lonely, hot-blooded people who have hard-ons looking at hot girls online. Just let your l337 Photoshopping skills do the talking at you'll become an instant Internet meme. Come to think of it, whichever girl whose nickname is Keyra Agustina must have a heck load of time Photoshopping each and every single frame of her gyrating to James Brown.

Well, tune in next time when I talk about something completely different.

En-Bloc Sale? FUCK OFF!

2007-11-06T10:21:00.001+08:00

I will never sell out my house to any money-whoring bastards bent on making some stupid crap on the land they buy.

I have lived in a decent four-room flat for over 17 years now. To me, it feels like more than a home, it's like a haven for my heart. My family has got no money for now, but I have really big plans for my house, with renovation on top of the list. I have seen how the environment around my flat has gone to; I saw out how a marsh right adjacent to my window evolved into a primary school, I saw out how my fellow residents get a new bus-stop so that we don't have to walk several metres to come home, I saw out how people get new homes right next to our flats. In short, I have enjoyed living in my house and have no intentions of moving out whatsoever. All that shit might change, however, when money-spinning whores of real estate investors thought they see fit to invest in the flat I live in.

THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN, YOU BASTARDS!

Compensations over the sale of my flat will not be enough, you greedy pigs. Money will not buy me almost two decades of memories and solace in my heart, and it has been proven that it doesn't buy anyone happiness. Oh, so you have resorted to ask your friends to buy remaining units of houses, have you? I'm VERY SURE I can find like-minded people to veto your attempts to force an en-bloc through the majority vote. In short, none of your attempts will sway me to sell my flat, you bunch of money-fat bastards!

I have a dream, that when nobody else resides around my flat, I shall be the last one to leave for newer pastures. I shall only leave when there's nobody else to greet during my days residing in my humble abode. For that is my plan for the far future.

Blogger's Notes: This entry is my comment for this article in The New Paper.

One's great victories should not be at the expense of others.

2007-10-29T09:11:00.000+08:00

We all have that desire to win. We always want to win in something; tournaments, competitions, even contests. But what measures have we been using to win all that we desire to? Do we severely injure our opponents to the point of withdrawal? Do we discredit our opponents with skeletons in their closets? Or even put down our opponents to the point where they break physically, mentally or emotionally?

Winning at all costs in ugliest of fashions is a defeat of humanity in itself, no matter how great the victory is. What is the use of celebrating your glorious victory when your nearest opponent licks his open wounds in defeat, contemplating what he had done to deserve the injuries inflicted by your unethical ways to win? By winning using such methods, you have lost your human spirit. You are thinking of nothing else but winning at all costs. You even resort to annihilation to achieve the victory, no matter how minuscule or grandiose it is. In short, you have won everything there is to win, but you have lost yourself. That is the nature of winning at all costs.

What goes on the competition field stays in the competition field. You may be enemies from the kick-off to the end, but when the final whistle blows, congratulate your opponents and shake their hands to appreciate the great battle you and your opponent have made in the competition. When your opponent is injured, halt the game and help him. When you have won, encourage him to train harder. When you have lost, acknowledge him for his victory. You may be rivals during the duration of the competition, be it several seconds or several hours, but outside of it, have a friendly banter over a cup of coffee. That is the nature of a model sportsman.

Remember, great victories should not be achieved at the expense of others. It is the way to achieve and sustain the human spirit in this world.

The extended network called 'human beings'

2007-10-10T21:07:00.000+08:00

Have a look at the contact lists in your Windows Live Messenger or Yahoo Messenger or whatever. Or have a look at your friends list in Friendster. Take a look deeper into their profiles (without spying, that is). Then think for a second: is it possible that your friends and contacts are more than meets their profiles?

Yes. But not in a personal point of view, that is. What I'm saying is, that friend you are looking at might know someone whom you have known but forgotten. Your classmate might have known your ex-girlfriend since primary school. Your former schoolmate might have a relative who's going to elope with a relative of yours. Your teammate in a sports club might be someone whom you knew back in kindergarten but lost contact as time went by. Your brother's friend might be playing in a football club on a regular basis.

We all are intertwined in a grand network of humanity. Once you forge a friendship with someone, you have created a bridge between you and your friend in the network. That bridge between you and your friend links both of you together to those whom you know and whom your friend knows. The more bridges you build, the more connection between us fellow humankind will be created. When you forge a friendship with someone, it's like you forged an acquaintance with the world.

Build a bridge, start by forging friendships with more people, and you'll be one step nearer to knowing the people of the world.

It's 'FOOTBALL', you stupid fat Yanks. FOOTBALL, not soccer. FOOTBALL.

2007-10-06T02:57:00.000+08:00

American Football? I'm having a laugh.

Firstly, you have players wearing fibreglass helmets and padding slamming at each other for no reason (or maybe trying to have a gay orgy while they're at it). I recognise another sport which does the same without the helmets and minimal/zero pads, and it's christened rugby. Deduction: American Football = Rugby + Wimps+without+cojones. Afraid to get injured, you pansy Yanks? Players get hit, slammed, dragged, maimed and mauled in rugby, and they bleed through 80 minutes of crazy body-tearing action and still never complain. Compare that to American Football players, and the latter is a pathetic excuse for players of contact sport.

You Yanks call it FOOTBALL? Let's recall the percentage of players kicking the ball in American Football.

Percentage of kicking in American Football: 17.3%
Percentage of ball-handling in American Football: Just about everything else %

Foot. Ball. Get the drift? American Football doesn't.

I'm a bored and lonely idiot who seeks fun doing these random ramblings, so if you enjoy the cheap laughs, thank you. I'm bored. Full-stop. If you don't agree with me, or is considering flagging this blog, read the disclaimer you douche.

Rihanna's Umbrella is the epitome of 'I ran out of ideas so I put up random annoying rhythms in between'.

2007-10-06T02:06:00.000+08:00

I hate Rihanna's Umbrella. In all forms.

First up, the background tune's too static. It's like you put a recording of a TV channel which has ceased transmission and gave out nothing but static, put in some beats, and voilà, you have profit whore knocking at your door. There is no rhythmic tune. Full-stop. Shut up, I rule in this blog.

Also, what's with the "Ella, ella, eh eh eh" bullcrap? A stroke victim can sing better tunes than that, and it still won't whore profits and royalty. It's like you put a few seconds of that random nonsense in my ringtone (which is El Chombo's Macarron Chacarron - go Google it or get it from Youtube, you lazy excuse for a human) edit in a few seconds of it and profit. It's just a pathetic rambling, which is definitely NOT this blog entry, of Rihanna and a bad excuse of wasting several seconds of precious digital recording, which can be used to record things like "I am a money-spinning whore" or "American Football is just a profit-whoring excuse for Yankees of a pansy sport".

I DON'T CARE what the lyrics say. If the tune is crap, I'm not listening to it. If the singing is crap, I'm not listening to it - and that goes to you, Ms. Famous-for-being-famous-for-being-famous-for-being-rich. If the whole package is annoying, I'm gonna buy all copies of the recordings and dump it in Mt. Krakatoa.

That's all for my random ramblings for the day. Tune in next time for the next episode of Dragonba- oh sorry, wrong place. For more random ramblings, hit F5 for refresh every 0.298743984327 nanoseconds or you get bad luck for 21348983274987432 millenia.